AND NOW THE MAN WHO NEVER GETS RESPECT
RONNEY DANGERFIELD

My wife is Best Rodney Dangerfield Jokes - Joke Central Born
November 22, 1921, in New York; died October 5, 2004.
Dangerfield is best known for the line, "I can't get no respect!"

Best Rodney Dangerfield Jokes;

I tell you, I got no respect, even as a kid:
we'd play hide-and-seek, and nobody would look for me.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox
the cat kept covering me up.

It's great to have a gray hair.
Ask anyone who's bald.

I get no respect at all. My dog keeps barking at the front door.
He doesn't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

I went to a fight the other night
and a hockey game broke out.

I went to the psychiatrist, and he says,
"You're crazy. " I tell him I want a second opinion.
He says, “Okay, you're ugly too!"

I was making love to this girl and she started crying.
I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"
She said, "No. I hate myself now."

I saw a naked jogger running out of my house.
I asked, "Why are you running?"
He said, "You came home!"

I went to the doctor, and he says, "I got good news; I got bad news.

The good news is, they're going to name a disease after you!"

My wife likes to talk after sex.
The other night she called me from her hotel room.

BIG DEAN