JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU HAVE READ EVERY THING,

I FOUND THE BEST FOR LAST "DARWIN AWARD WINNERS FOR YOU!" READ ON

RUNNER UP..
A Vermont native, Ronald Demuth,
found himself in a difficult position yesterday.
While touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari (Zoo)
with a group of the spians from St. Petersburg, Russia,
Mr. Demuth went overboard to show them one of America's many marvels. He demonstrated the effectiveness of "Crazy Glue"......
the hard way. Apparently, Mr. Demuth wanted to demonstrate just how good the adhesive was, so he put about 3 ounces of the adhesive in the palms of his hands, and jokingly placed them on the buttocks (ASS) of a passing rhino. (this was a Joke
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The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen years,
was not initially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its arrival as a baby.
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However, once it became aware of its being involuntarily stuck to
Mr. Demuth, it began to panic and ran around the petting area wildly taking Mr. Demuth an unintended passenger.
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"Sally [the rhino] hasn't been feeling well lately.
She had been very constipated. We had just given her a laxative and some depressants to relax her bowels,
when Mr.Demuth played his juvenile prank,"
said James Douglass, caretaker.
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During Sally's tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was gored, and a number of small animals escaped.
Also, during the stampede, three pygmy goats
and one duck were stomped to death.
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As for Demuth, it took a team of medics and zoo caretakers' to remove his hands from her buttocks.
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First, the animal had to be captured and calmed down. However, during this process the laxatives began to take hold
and Mr. Demuth was repeatedly showered with over 30 gallons of RHINO diarrhea.
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It was tricky. We had to calm her down, while at the same time shield our faces from being pelted with rhino dung.
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I guess you could say that Mr. Demuth was into it up to his neck. Once she was under control,
we had three people with shovels working to keep an air passage open for Mr. Demuth.
We were able to tranquilize her and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Douglass.
I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for a while."
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Meanwhile, the Russians, while obviously amused,
also were impressed with the power of the adhesive. "I'm going to buy some for my children, but of course they can't take it to the zoo," commented Vladimir Zolnikov, leader of the troupe.

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This story gets my vote as number one for DARWIN AWARD!
HAVE A GREAT DAY
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND THE BACK ALLEY GANG