HERE ARE SOME REAL PEOPLE THAT ARE "MORE CANDIDATES FOR THE DARWIN AWARDS"

GRAVITY KILLS:
A 22-year-old Reston man was found dead yesterday;
after he tried to use 'occy' straps
(the stretchy little ropes with hooks on each end)
to BUNGEE JUMP off a 70-foot railroad trestle,
Fairfax County police said Eric A. Barcia,
a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together,
wrapped an end around one foot,
anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, JUMPED........ and hit the pavement!
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Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman,
said investigators think Barcia was alone
because his car was found nearby.
"The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground," Carmichael said.
Police say the apparent cause of death was "major trauma." (DA!)
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An autopsy is scheduled for later in the week.

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Deans note: It pays to be good in Math
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GIMME A LIGHT!

In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas.
Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition-lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated,
two technicians from the gas company were dispatched.
Upon entering the building,
they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark.
To their frustration, none of the lights worked.
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Witnesses later described the vision of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object
that resembled a LIGHTER.
Upon operation of the lighter-like object,
the gas in the are house exploded,
sending pieces of it up to three miles away.
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Nothing was found of the technicians,
but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion.
The technician that was suspected of causing the explosion,
had never been thought of as "bright" by his peers.
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DEANS NOTES: I HAVE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST
THE NEXT TIME I BLOG
I WILL GIVE YOU TWO MORE YOU WON'T WANTA MISS
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND THE WHOLE GANG