Most of these Halloween jokes are real groaners (get it, Halloween.... GROANERS hahahaha hehehe uhhh yeah) anyway...

Q. Why was the student vampire tired in the morning?
A. Because he was up all night studying for his blood test!!!

Q. Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
A. It's good for the bones.

Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
A. They're afraid of flying off the handle!

Q. Why don't skeletons like parties?
A. They have no body to dance with.

Q. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A. They're good at keeping things under wraps.

Q. Why do vampires drink blood?
A. Because coffee keeps them awake all day!

Q. Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
A. Because he's a pain in the neck!

Q. Why did the mummy call the doctor?
A. Because he was coffin.

Q. Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
A. To get his boo-ster shot?

Q. Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A. Because people are dying to get in.

Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. Where does Dracula water ski?
A. On Lake Erie

Q. Where does Count Dracula make his withdrawals?
A. At the blood bank.

Q. When does a ghost need a license?
A. During "haunting" season.

Q. What's a haunted chicken?
A. A poultry-geist.

Q. What was the witches' favorite subject in school?
A. Spelling

Q. What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A. A dead ringer.

Q. What do little ghosts drink?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What type of coffee do vampires prefer?
A. Decoffinated!

Q. What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
A. Five after one.

Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A. Boo boos

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice Scream

Q. What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A. A blood vessel

Q. How did the ghost patch his sheet?
A. With a pumpkin patch.

Q. What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A. Don't spook until your spooken to.

Q. What did the Mommy Vampire say to the Baby Vampire?
A. "You are driving me batty."

Q. What did the monster eat after the dentist pulled his tooth?
A. The dentist!

Q. What do ghouls order at McMonsters?
A. Handburgers.

Q. What do spooks call their Navy?
A. The ghost guard.

Q. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
A. Squash

Q. Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A. Because people are dying to get in.

Q. Why do witches think they're funny?
A. Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.

Q. Why did the tiny ghost join the football squad?
A. He had heard that they needed a little team spirit !

Q. Why don't skeletons like to eat spicy food?
A. They can't stomach it!



AND A SPOOKY HALLOWEEN TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!

FOLLOW ME DOWN TO THE LOCAL BAR
AND THE TALE OF A "TOUGH JOB!"....................

This fly goes into a bar one day, and orders a drink

The customer next to him looks at him and says to the bartender,
"What's with him?"

The bartender says, "Oh, he works in the restaurant down the street."

The man asks the fly, "What line of work do you do?"

The fly sighs,
"The waiters always put me in bowls of soup,
and it's tough on my health."


HAVE A GREAT DAY!
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

OH THERE'S THAT SILLY CAT AGAIN, OH GARFIELD, ARE YOU UP YET? SAY HELLO TO EVERONE!

BEING IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD I DECIDED TO
GIVE TWO "FUNNY STORIES" JUST FOR YOU:

THE DOCTORS OFFICE:

A man walks in to a doctors office with a frog on his head.

The doctor leaps up and says: "Good grief, how on earth did you get that great ugly thing!"

The frog looks down and replies:
"I dun no Doc, it started out as a little wart on my bottom!"

_______________________________________________________________________
HERE'S STORY #2"-I PROMISE YOU!

"The Psychic Hotlline"

A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline
and was told,

You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you."

The frog said, "That's great!
Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," said the psychic,
"Next semester in her biology class."

HAVE A GREAT DAY
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

WE LOVE OUR PETSIF IT IS A DOG OR A CAT IT DOES NOT MATTER READ AHEAD AND SEE HOW MANY FIT YOU!



Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever.



Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.

Although cats are rather delicate creatures,
and they are subject to a good many ailments,
I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up.
Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.



Dog's have owners.

Cat's have staff.





Dogs shed,



cats shred.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles
are members of a weird religious cult?

No one appreciates the very special genius
of your conversation as the dog does.

Outside of a dog,
a book is probably man's best friend.
Inside of a dog,
it's too dark to read.



I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence
that you are wonderful.



People that hate cats


will come back as

dogs in their next life.

We wonder why the dogs

always drink out of our toilets,
but look at it from their point of view:
Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?

Women and cats

will do as they please...

Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

When a man's best friend is his dog,

that dog has a problem.

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance,
everyone should have a dog

that will worship him
and

a cat that will ignore him.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS, HOW MANY CAN YOU RELATE TO?

HAVE A GREAT DAY! BE SAFE!
YOUR FRIEND,
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

HELLO KIDS I HOPE YOU ARE DOING OK, I WANT TO TALK TO AS A DADDY AND A GRANDPA.
NO DOUBT BY NOW YOU HEARD THAT A VERY BAD MAN DID SOME BAD THINGS TODAY TO SOME SMALL CHILDREN IN A SCHOOL. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ALL THOUGH THERE ARE SOME BAD FOLKS OUT THERE MOST OF US ARE GOOD!
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE AFRAID TO GO TO SCHOOL. SCHOOL CAN BE A FUN PLACE FOR YOU. TALK TO YOU MOM OR DAD ABOUT THIS. PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO GO TO SCHOOL.

I HAVE 6 GRANDCHILDREN AND I WORRY ABOUT THEM EVERY DAY BUT GOD DOES WATCH OVER US ALL. I DO STRONGLY BELIEVE THIS.

NOW I AM ADDRESSING THIS TO THAT KID THAT THINKS THAT USING A GUN WILL HELP. NO IT WON'T! IF YOU ARE HAVING PROBLEMS THEN TELL SOMEONE, A TEACHER, A FRIEND. A PASTOR, ANYONE AND GET SOME HELP! PLEASE, PLEASE! DON'T TAKE THAT GUN INTO YOUR HAND BECAUSE THEN THERE IS NO WAY BACK!

IF YOU HAVE NO ONE YOU CAN TRUST, WRITE ME HERE AT MY BLOG I WILL TRY MY BEST TO HELP YOU OR YOU CAN E-MAIL ME ANYTIME AT
deans_corner@yahoo.com AND I WILL TRY TO HELP YOU. I WILL ANSWER YOU WITHIN 24 HOURS
GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND I HOPE YOU WILL EXCUSE ME NOT PRINTING ANY THING FUNNY TODAY I AM TOO SAD TO DO SO.

YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN