AH A TRIP TO THE MALL FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH
A "AMISH LAD AND HIS DAD"...................

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded,
"I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed,
an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls
and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched
as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful

twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said,

"Go get your mother."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I VOTED!!! I HOPE YOUR MOM AN DAD DID!
AND NOW BACK TO THE FUNNY WARD!
YOUR PAL
BIG DEAN

LET'S ALL GO TO SCHOOL FOR....

"TEACHER'S DAY"

On a special Teacher's Day,
a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is....some flowers."

"That's right!" said the boy. "But how did you know?"

"Just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy."

"That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Just a lucky guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son.
The teacher held it over her head but it was leaking.
She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied.

The teacher repeated the process,
touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied.

The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?"

The boy replied, "A puppy!"

NOW HERE'S A LESSON FOR ALL YOU "WIPPER SNAPPER'S" OUT THERE! (granny is talking to ya! pay attention!")

GRANNY AT THE STORE:

A guy shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son." He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout ... and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mother." The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries. "That comes to $121.85," said the clerk. "How come so much?! I only bought 5 items.."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd pay for her things, too."

DO NOT TRUST LITTLE OLD LADIES!!!
BIG DEAN

Ready for a seriously funny laugh? This one is based on a True Story! No kidding!

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist! Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked...as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions. You're going to love this......

NASA responded with a one-line memo:

"DEFROST THE CHICKEN!"