THE FOLLOWING IS NO LAUGHING MATTER
BUT SO IMPORTANT THAT I AM GOING TO POST IT ON
4 OF MY BLOGS. IT HAS BEEN REPRINTED FROM 'LOU'S WORLD'
HERE ON THE STREAM WARN EVERYONE YOU KNOW:

Lifesaving Information A Lot Of People Aren't Told

I got this in an e-mail and I never knew this before.
I wonder just how many people do know about this.

~ A 36 year old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled her car. A resident of Kilgore, Texas she was traveling between Gladewater & Kilgore. It was raining, though not excessively, when her car suddenly began to hydro-plane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence!

When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened he told her something that every driver should know - NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain.

But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on when your car begins to hydro-plane and your tires lose contact with the pavement, your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed making you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred.

The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the driver's seat sun-visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry.

The only person the accident victim found, who knew this (besides the patrolman), was a man who had had a similar accident, totaled his car and sustained severe injuries.

NOTE: Some vehicles (like the Toyota Sienna Limited XLE) will not allow you to set the cruise control when the windshield wipers are on.
This is important information. Like I said, I didn't know about this.....do you?

reprinted from Lou's world here on blogstream
HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING
FROM MY FAMILY TO YOURS
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

AND NOW A WORD FROM MY FRIEND TOM TURKEY.......






OH WELL GUESS WE WILL HAVE TO EAT PORK FOR THANKSGIVING,
TOM SEEMS TO HAVE SKIPPED TOWN
TO ALL OUR FRIENDS
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING BE FILLED WITH BLESSINGS
YOUR FRIEND,
BIG DEAN, ARIANNA,
AND THE WHOLE BACK ALLEY GANG

WELL WE ARE BACK TO BASICS; PICKING ON LAWYERS
I GAVE THIS ONE THE TITLE
"LAWYERS SHOULD NEVER MESS WITH GRANDMA"
OR USE HER AS A WITNESS OR YOU MIGHT GET THE FINGER INSTEAD!

"LAWYERS SHOULD NEVER MESS WITH GRANDMA
-OR-USE HER AS A WITNESS:

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma
a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
<
He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
<
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people
and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains
to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher.
<
Yes, I know you."
<
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,

"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do.
I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women.
One of them was your wife.......
Yes, I know him."
<
The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and,
in a very quiet voice, said,
<
"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,
I'll send you to the electric chair."
--------------------------------------------------------------------

I WONDER WHAT THAT OLD JUDGE WAS HIDING
NOW I BET OLD GRANDMA KNOWS



BY THE WAY
HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM
GRANDMA AND ME AND THE WHOLE BACK ALLEY GANG

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU HAVE READ EVERY THING,

I FOUND THE BEST FOR LAST "DARWIN AWARD WINNERS FOR YOU!" READ ON

RUNNER UP..
A Vermont native, Ronald Demuth,
found himself in a difficult position yesterday.
While touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari (Zoo)
with a group of the spians from St. Petersburg, Russia,
Mr. Demuth went overboard to show them one of America's many marvels. He demonstrated the effectiveness of "Crazy Glue"......
the hard way. Apparently, Mr. Demuth wanted to demonstrate just how good the adhesive was, so he put about 3 ounces of the adhesive in the palms of his hands, and jokingly placed them on the buttocks (ASS) of a passing rhino. (this was a Joke
<
The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen years,
was not initially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its arrival as a baby.
<
However, once it became aware of its being involuntarily stuck to
Mr. Demuth, it began to panic and ran around the petting area wildly taking Mr. Demuth an unintended passenger.
<
"Sally [the rhino] hasn't been feeling well lately.
She had been very constipated. We had just given her a laxative and some depressants to relax her bowels,
when Mr.Demuth played his juvenile prank,"
said James Douglass, caretaker.
<
During Sally's tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was gored, and a number of small animals escaped.
Also, during the stampede, three pygmy goats
and one duck were stomped to death.
<
As for Demuth, it took a team of medics and zoo caretakers' to remove his hands from her buttocks.
<
First, the animal had to be captured and calmed down. However, during this process the laxatives began to take hold
and Mr. Demuth was repeatedly showered with over 30 gallons of RHINO diarrhea.
<
It was tricky. We had to calm her down, while at the same time shield our faces from being pelted with rhino dung.
<
I guess you could say that Mr. Demuth was into it up to his neck. Once she was under control,
we had three people with shovels working to keep an air passage open for Mr. Demuth.
We were able to tranquilize her and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Douglass.
I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for a while."
<
Meanwhile, the Russians, while obviously amused,
also were impressed with the power of the adhesive. "I'm going to buy some for my children, but of course they can't take it to the zoo," commented Vladimir Zolnikov, leader of the troupe.

.........................................................................
This story gets my vote as number one for DARWIN AWARD!
HAVE A GREAT DAY
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND THE BACK ALLEY GANG

HERE ARE SOME REAL PEOPLE THAT ARE "MORE CANDIDATES FOR THE DARWIN AWARDS"

GRAVITY KILLS:
A 22-year-old Reston man was found dead yesterday;
after he tried to use 'occy' straps
(the stretchy little ropes with hooks on each end)
to BUNGEE JUMP off a 70-foot railroad trestle,
Fairfax County police said Eric A. Barcia,
a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together,
wrapped an end around one foot,
anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, JUMPED........ and hit the pavement!
>
>
Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman,
said investigators think Barcia was alone
because his car was found nearby.
"The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground," Carmichael said.
Police say the apparent cause of death was "major trauma." (DA!)
<
An autopsy is scheduled for later in the week.

.....................................................................................
Deans note: It pays to be good in Math
....................................................................................
GIMME A LIGHT!

In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas.
Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition-lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated,
two technicians from the gas company were dispatched.
Upon entering the building,
they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark.
To their frustration, none of the lights worked.
<
Witnesses later described the vision of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object
that resembled a LIGHTER.
Upon operation of the lighter-like object,
the gas in the are house exploded,
sending pieces of it up to three miles away.
<
Nothing was found of the technicians,
but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion.
The technician that was suspected of causing the explosion,
had never been thought of as "bright" by his peers.
...........................................................................
DEANS NOTES: I HAVE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST
THE NEXT TIME I BLOG
I WILL GIVE YOU TWO MORE YOU WON'T WANTA MISS
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND THE WHOLE GANG