A YES THE TIME OF YEAR THAT COLLEGES ARE
TAKING IN NEWBEES LET'S VISIT A LOCAL MEDICAL SCHOOL AND LISTEN IN:

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" WHY MUST WE LEARN THIS?"

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One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask,
"Why do we have to learn this pointless information"
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"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
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A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
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"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
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"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.

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Garfield says this guy sounds like the last
Vet HE VISITED.
HAVE A GREAT DAY
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

He's teaching her arithmetic,
he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
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And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, Now that's subtraction."
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Then he kissed her,she kissed him without an explanation. And both together smiled and said,
"That's multiplication."
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Then Dad appeared upon the scene
and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
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be sure that daddy does not walk in on you or else you will be more than longggggggggg division!
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

NOW STUDENTS AND OTHER FOLKS PAY ATTENTION TO THE FOLLOWING LISTS:

Useless Inventions:

1. Non stick Cellotape
2. Solar Powered Flash Light
3. A black highlighter pen
4. Glow in the dark sunglasses
5. Inflatable Anchor
6. Smooth Sandpaper
7. Waterproof sponge
8. Waterproof Teabags
9. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
10. Fireproof Matches
11. Fireproof Cigarettes
12. Battery powered Battery Charger
13. Seatbelts for Motorbikes
14. Hand powered Chainsaw
15. Inflatable Dartboard
16. Silent Alarm Clock
17. A Pedal powered wheelchair
18. Braille Drivers Manual
19. Double sided playing cards
20. Ejector seats for Helicopters
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uncle scrooge was complaining that he received the above
list in the SUGGESTION BOX!
He said he will not give money for these but might use
some any how like #17, 14, and 20 Might come in handy while transporting
Grinchie
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HAVE A GREAT REST OF THE DAY
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

YOU MIGHT BE A COLLEGE STUDENT IF YOU FIT ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

If you average 3 hours of sleep a night

If your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't

If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week

If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy

If you wake up 10 minutes before class

If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row -- without washing them

If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to class

If your social life consists of a date with the library

If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room

If you carry less than a dollar on your person

If you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to class

If you celebrate when you find a quarter

If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over

If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itself

If your backpack is giving you Scoliosis

If you get more sleep in class than in your room

If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles

If you can sleep through your roommate's blaring stereo

If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes

If you get more e-mail than mail......

THEN YOU MIGHT BE A COLLEGE STUDENT!!!
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Well did you fall into this list?
Then I guess you are a "college student"
Good luck to you I hope all your dreams come true!
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

OK, SO HERE'S 23 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WRITTEN BY KIDS! (Parents And Grandparents Take notes! See 22 &23)

"Kids" Little Instructions on Life."

1. "Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching."
-Andrew, Age 9

2. "Wear a hat when feeding seagulls."
-Rocky, age 9

3. "Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning."
-Stephanie, age 8

4. "Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower."
-Lamar, age 10

5. "Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes."
-Carrol, age 9

6. "Never bug a pregnant mom."
-Nicholas, age 11

7. "Don't ever be too full for dessert."
-Kelly, age 10

8. "When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him."
-Heather, age 16

9. "Never tell your mom her diet's not working."
-Michael, age 14

10. "Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat." -Joel, age 12

11. "When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone."
-Alyesha, age 13

12. "Never try to baptize a cat."
-Laura, age 13

13. "Never spit when on a roller coaster."
-Scott, age 11

14. "Never do pranks at a police station."
-Sam, age 10

15. "Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving."
-Rob, age 10

16. "Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do."
-Hank, age 12

17. "Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand."
-Molly, age 11

18. "Listen to your brain. It has lots of information."
-Chelsey, age 7

19. "Stay away from prunes."
-Randy, age 9

20. "Never dare your little brother to paint the family car."
-Phillip, age 13

21. "Forget the cake, go for the icing."
-Cynthia, age 8

22. **"Remember the two places you are always welcome-church and Grandma's house."
-Joanne, age 11

23. **"When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents."
-Matthew, age 12
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.YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS