THE REAL MEANING OF WORDS:

"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means...

"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

(Ok fellows, how many of you will admit to that one)

WHAT IS IT? I'LL LET YOU ANSWER THIS ONE YOUR SELFS

It has no conscience
and no memory. Left to its own devices,
it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

MAN:

If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

WOMAN:
If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

(ooooooh! That smarts!)
FROM GARFIELD AND ALL THE GUYS AND GALS
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

HERE'S A FUNNY ONE JUST FOR YOU!

PICK-UP LINES:
Man:
"Hey baby, what's your sign?"

Woman:

"Do not enter."

Man:
Is this seat empty?
Woman:
Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

THE REAL MEANING........

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THESE
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

A BLONDE, A COP, AND "THE MISSING RING"

A cop saw a blonde down on her knees under a streetlight.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it," replied the blonde.

"Did you drop it right here?" asked the cop.



"No," she responded, "I dropped it about a block away,

but the light's better here."

MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

OK MY FRIENDS HERE WE GO-- A WEDDING-- A LITTLE GIRL AND HER MOMMY
AND A GREAT QUESTION

"THE QUESTION?
A little girl at a wedding asked, "Mommy, why do brides always wear white?"

"Because they're happy," the mom replied.
Halfway through the wedding, the girl whispered,
"Mommy, if brides wear white because they're happy,
then why do grooms wear black?
ANY ANSWERS OUT THERE???
YOUR FRIUEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

Bob and Joe sat next to each other taking a test. When they finished, the teacher called them up to the front of the room and said, "Boys, I will have to give both of you a zero on this test"

"W-why?" they wanted to know, though Joe was shifting uncomfortably.

She said, "Your answers were too nearly alike. One of you cheated and the other one let him do it."

"What makes you think we cheated?" Bob asked. "That could have been a coincidence."

The teacher said, "I might have believed that if it wasn't for the fact that when you came to question #10, Bob wrote in 'I don't know' for the answer, and you, Joe, put 'Me neither'!"

I GUESS THE TEACHER GOT THE GOODS ON BOB AND JOE!
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN