"A HELPFUL WIFE"

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife:

Oh Harry. You were going 80.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife:

Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife:

Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man:

Shut your mouth, woman!



Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

LET'S SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE LOCAL HOSPITAL:

HMM LET'S SEE A DOCTOR, A WORRIED HUSBAND:

This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Her husband waits patiently in the waiting room. After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which understandably concerns the husband.
Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room this time asking for a screwdriver. The man grows worried and begins to pace in circles.
Then, a little later, the doctor bursts through the doors screaming for a hammer, at that, the husband, in a state of frenzied terror, runs up to the surgeon and asks, "Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?"
"I don't know," replies the flustered doctor, "I can't get my damn bag open."

NOW THAT'S A KICK IN THE OLD BAG
HAVE A GREAT DAY AND A BETTER WEEKEND!

MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

"GETTING OLD"

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded....

All reports are in.... life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older, than it is to get wiser.

The only time the world beats a path to your door, is when you're in the bathroom.

When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter ....
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

Sound like you? Welcome to the CLUB!
DON'T WORRY SOON ENOUGH YOUR KIDS WILL BE THERE TOO!
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

A HIGHWAY PATROLMAN AND
A WOMEN DRIVER".............

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the crowded freeway. Glancing at the car, the officer was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting.

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO," the woman yelled back. "IT'S A SCARF!"

YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was "woman's work!"

One evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and immediately wanted to know what was going on.

It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job.

The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office.

"How did it work out?" they asked.

"Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed my evening."

"But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know.

"It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too tired."

Looks like charley did all that work
and didn't get ANY LOVING
He found out how hard housework is!

Remember fellows if you want some loving,
then you got to help with the housework too.
Bring her flowers once in a while and take her out to dinner too.
Remember how hard it was to win her heart
Then remember to keep it fresh, give her love from your heart too.
Marriage is a partnership, no one can expect more than you put into it
For it to work show love, and "always say honey, I love you!"
Never go to bed mad at each other, but forgive each other.
kiss her when she goes to sleep and when you wake in the morning
following these simple rules will give you and your mate years
f happy times.
Remember that it takes two to make it work.
You may have bad times
you will have good
but most of all you
will have each other to love
and that is Gods real gift to you!

Wishing you all my best wishes,
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS
NOW MY FRIENDS WILL TELL YOU THE THREE WORDS TO SAY EVERY DAY: