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BIG DEANS FUNNY STUFF FOR YOU!


 THE HUNTERS
 

Alabama Hunters
Two hunters from Alabama are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He does not appear to be breathing. The other whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps out to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says, "Calm down. Just take it easy. First let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "Okay, now what?"

YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS
Posted by BIG DEAN at 10:20 AM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 THE FREE WISH
 

"THE FREE WISH"
be careful what ya wish for

A man exploring the ancient Pyramids of Egypt while on vacation stumbled across a secret room. He sneaked away from the tour group and explored the room. He found a dusty lamp and picked it up. While he wiped the dust off the lamp a genie appeared in a puff of smoke.

"For freeing me from my prison, I will grant you a wish, what will it be sire?"

The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job, a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do."

"Allah Ka Zam!" said the genie. "You're a housewife!"

(see I told you be careful of your wishes)

YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS
Posted by BIG DEAN at 10:16 AM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 THE JOB INTERVIEW
 


THE JOB INTERVIEWS

We've all been interviewed for jobs.
And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.

The lowlights:

1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

3. " A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve"

6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."

8. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."

9. "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, he went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

10. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

11. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

12. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."

13. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."

14. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more. "I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."

15. "His attaché [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume."

16. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

17. "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security,"

18. "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."

WHAT NOT TO DO AT JOB INTERVIEWS

YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN
Posted by BIG DEAN at 9:33 AM - 1 Comment   Add a Comment  
 

 DOUBLE TALKING WOMAN
 

Double Talking Women
BlogAdorn.com

BlogAdorn.com
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men,
showed her a study which indicated that men use (on the average) only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.

BlogAdorn.com

BlogAdorn.com
She thought about this for a while and then told her husband
that women use twice as many words as men
because they have to repeat everything they say.

BlogAdorn.com

BlogAdorn.com
Looking stunned, he said, "WHAT?"

CAN'T BEAT EM JOIN EM
BlogAdorn.com

BlogAdorn.com


MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS
Posted by BIG DEAN at 5:02 PM - 8 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 TWO COWBOYS AT A ROADHOUSE....................
 

Two Cowboys......
Two cowboys from Arkansas walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices.

Suddenly a woman at a table behind them who had been eating a sandwich begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. The cowboys turn to look at her.

"Kin yah swallow? asked one of the cowboys.

The woman shakes her head "No".

"Kin yah breathe?" asks the other cowboy.

The woman, beginning to turn blue, shakes her head "NO" again.

The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt and slowly runs his tongue from the back of her thigh up to the small of her back. This sends the woman into a violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breathe again.

The cowboy walks back over to the bar and takes a drink of his beer. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Maneuver, but I ain't never seen nobody do it."

YEP! THEMS HIN-LICK SURE DOES WORK WONDERS
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS
Posted by BIG DEAN at 11:08 AM - 15 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: BIG DEAN
From KENTUCKY, USA
Age: 63
 
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HI, I WILL POST FUNNY STUFF THAT I FIND ON THE WEB MY AIM IS TO BRING A SMILE OR TWO TO YOU.... more
 
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