ME AND MY PAL ARE WISHING YOU ALL A GREAT WEEKEND
NOW TOMMY AND GARFIELD DON'T LIKE DOGGIES MUCH, BUT THINK THIS GUYS OK!

TOMMY

GARFIELD
AND OF COURSE LITTLE OLD ME
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

Note to Parents; this is also a PG RATED JOKE PLEASE READ IT FIRST.
MMD

Politics Explained

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep s--t."

AH YES,"FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES"
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ONE TOO.
YOUR PAL
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

Parents please note: I clean this joke a bit for my younger readers but I think it is still a PG RATED JOKE

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.

Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."

"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.

"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and I'll give you one from behind."

The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.

The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.

Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.

Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"

The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.

He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"

The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that dam fence wasn't electrified."

THESE TWO WERE IN FOR A "SHOCKING GOOD TIME"
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

THE GODFATHER:
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney,
walks into a room to meet with his former accountant.
The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The accountant does not answer.

The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."

The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!"

The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney interprets to the Godfather,

"He doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol,
puts it to the temple of the accountant,
cocks the trigger

and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!"

The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!"

The accountant signs back,
"OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase
behind the shed in my backyard!"

The Godfather says, "Well....what did he say?"

The attorney interprets to the Godfather,

"He says...go to hell........
that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

WHOOOO, THIS GUY IS A DEAD MAN AND IF THE GODFATHER FINDS OUT, AH WELL
I BET THAT ATTORNEY GETS OUT OF TOWN WITH THE CASH
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

CHICKEN WIRE.........
An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.

"Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Roll of chicken wire."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch some chickens."

"You damn fool! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"

The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset,
the boy comes walking by, dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

The next morning, the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something in his hand.

"Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Roll of duct tape."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch me some ducks."

"You damn fool! You can't catch ducks with duct tape!"

The boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That night around sunset the boy walks by,

trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duct tape
with about 35 ducks caught in it.

The next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end.

''Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"It's a pussy willow."

"Wait up...I'll get my hat."

NOT NO FOOL
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN