Have you ever asked your Boss for a raise?
Well let's look in on a fellow who did

"THE PAY RAISE"

One morning, a company boss read an unusual letter
from one of his employees:

Dear Bo$$,

A$ all of u$ have read in the new$paper$,
the U$ economy ha$ come out of the rece$$ion.

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.
I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of
u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including
$weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Norman $ol



The next day, the employee received this reply:

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays,
NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that
our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as of yet.

NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading
ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go
into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential
elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Boss


Ah well, guess there is not going to be any raise


YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

"BACK IN THE DAYS OF THE SOVIET UNION."

Back in the days of the Soviet Union, the operator answered the phone at the KGB headquarters.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this KGB?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor as an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood."

"This will be noted."

Next day, the KGB operatives appeared at the neighbor's house. They searched the shed where the firewood was kept, broke every piece of wood, found no diamonds, swore at proprietor and left.

Soon afterwards, the phone rang at the man's house.

"Hello! Did the KGB come?"

"Yes."

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yes, they did."

"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."

HMMMMMMMM, I WONDER COULD THIS REALLY HAVE HAPPEN? NAW THEY COULD NOT BE THAT DUMB COULD THEY?

"THE NEWLY WEDS SQUABBLE"...................

Upset over a newlywed squabble with her husband,
a young wife went to her mother to complain.

Trying to console her, her father tried to reassure her that men weren't unreasonable all the time.

"Nonsense," she responded to her father. "Men are good for only one thing!"

"Yes," her mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?"

HEY! WE'RE GOOD FOR OTHER STUFF TOO
I THINK

YOUR PAL MAN
MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

..A JUDGE, A LAWYER, AND THE DEFENDANT.......

Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.

Judge: And why is that?

Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case.

Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?

Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening.

YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

OLD AGE, AIN'T IT GREAT?

Two elderly women met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school. Did you manage to live a well-planned life?"

"Yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker."

Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?"

"One for the money,
two for the show,
three to get ready,
and four to go.

YOUR PAL
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN