Some thoughts on marriage
part 2 Well if you enjoyed the first blog you are sure to enjoy these

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A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. (Tim Allen)

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I love being married. I was single for a long time
and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. (Brian Kiley)

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What’s the punishment for bigamy?

Two mothers-in-law.

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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months --

I don't like to interrupt her.

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Losing a wife can be hard.

In some cases it’s almost impossible.

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Marriage is a 3-ring circus:

engagement ring,

wedding ring

and suffering.

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My ex-wife and I have our alimony set up on the easy payment plan.

I make the payment and she takes it easy.

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Marriage is not a word,

it is a sentence - a life sentence!

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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I married Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

It only seems longer.

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Two guys were staring into their drinks when one said, "Hey, Harry, have you ever suspected your wife of leading a double life?"

"Yeah, all the time," Harry said. "Hers and mine." (Playboy's Party Jokes)

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A man complained to his therapist about having two unhappy marriages. "Tell me about them," the therapist said.

"Well," the man said, "my first wife divorced me and my second wife won't."

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I was lucky enough to be married to a wonderful woman for a very
long time. This month we would have marked our 41st year together.
I remember every day I am still here. I think she would have enjoyed
some of the jokes I have posted today and then
maybe not OH! She had a wonderful sense of humor. I am going to print some funny stuff about marriage
in the next few posts that I do.

SOME QUOTES:

I come from a big family... 14 kids. I didn't sleep alone until I got married.

My wedding day... that was a beauty. I went to put the ring on...
she gave me the wrong finger. (Rodney Dangerfield)

Never tell your wife she's lousy in bed.
She'll go out and get a second opinion. (Rodney Dangerfield)

They say marriage is a contract. No it's not.
Contracts come with warranties.
When something goes wrong, you can take it back to the manufacturer. If your husband starts acting up,
you can't take him back to his mama's house. "I don't know...
he just stopped working.
He's just laying around making a funny noise." (Wanda Sykes)

A guy tells his psychiatrist, "It was terrible.
I was away on business,
and I wired my wife that I'd be back a day early.
I rushed home from the airport and found her in bed with my best friend.
I don't get it.
How could she do this to me?"

"Well," says the psychiatrist.
"Maybe she didn't get your telegram." (Unknown)
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Deans Note:
Hope you enjoyed my effort today
Do you have any funny quotes or has any thing
funny happen to you?
Why not share them with my readers and friends
here on the blog
HERE'S WISHING YOU A GREAT WEEKEND
TILL NEXT TIME
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN, ARIANNA,
GARFIELD AND THE WHOLE BACK ALLEY GANG

Thanksgiving is over; and a lot of us are still recovering
from that large turkey or ham and all the fixin's
Some of you are
saying I am never going to eat like that again
(till Christmas and New Years)
And so we go back on a DIE----IT to lose all we gained over that
weekend.
You all know I have been talking about DIE--ITS
and what we all go though to loose a few pounds,
well one of my readers send the following e-mail to me
which I will share with you all

"Do you know what a DIE..IT IS?

It's the Penalty you pay for exceeding the "FEED LIMIT"

NOTE: It took me a little time to think of the answer to his e-mail here it is:

"Then you'll have to throw the 'COOK BOOK' AT ME"

Hope you enjoyed our "DIE--IT HUMOR
YOUR FRIEND STILL TRYING TO LOSE
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

We have all heard about the high cost of
dieing, well let's look in on the story of:

"Two brothers and the funeral bill"

Unable to attend the funeral after his father died,
a son who lived far away called his brother and told him,

"Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill."

Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid.

The next month, he got another bill for $200.00,
which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.

Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on.

"Well," said the brother, "You said to do something nice for Dad. So I rented him a tuxedo."

Here we go for "SOME FUNNY STUFF"...Let's go doen
to the local bar and see what is happening:

Three men at a Bar...........

Three men are at a bar,
and two of the men are talking about the control
they have over their wives, while the third remains silent.

After a while, the first two men turn to the third and ask,
"What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?"

The third man turns to the first two and says,
"Well, I'll tell you, just the other day I had her on her knees."

The first two men were dumbfounded. "Wow! What happened next?" they asked.

The third man takes a healthy swig of his beer, sighs and mutters,

"Then she started screaming, "Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!'"

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HAVE A NICE DAY
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN