Let's look in on two young folks talking about their GRANDPA

"GRANDPA KNEW!"

Benny: "Now you take my grandpa, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too.
Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too."

Louie: "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?"

Benny: "A judge told him."

WOW! now that's a kick in the you know what!
your friend
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

Ok, so you gone fishing, and your wife is waiting for
some fresh fish from you but you caught none!
let's look in on JIM and see what he does

"A FISH STORY"

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake,
sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one.
On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket
and ordered four catfish.

He told the fish salesman,
"Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."

"But why?"

"Because your wife came in earlier today
and said that if you came by,
I should tell you to take orange roughy.
She prefers that for supper tonight."

Now I did not say JIM was smarter than his WIFE
your friend
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

HERE'S SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

Random Thoughts of the day...

1. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
2. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
3. Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
4. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
5. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
6. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
7. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
8. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
9. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
10. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
11. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
12. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the walls.

HERE'S MINE:
Someone once said " don't think too hard you might hurt yourself"
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

LET'S LOOK IN ON A MOCHO MAN NEW B RIDE AND
HIS INSTRUCTIONS TO HER

"THE NEWLY WED'S PLEDGE"

A typical macho man married typical good-looking woman
and, after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
I'll be home when I want,
if I want and at what time I want---- and I don't expect any hassle from you.

I expect dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules.
Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at 7 o'clock every night ---- whether you're here or not."

Guess she had the last word
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

AH YES, WITH MY GRANDSON MAKING ME A GREAT GRANDPA,
AND HE SAYS HE WILL ATTEND A "LAMAZE CLASS" HERE IS ONE JUST FOR THEM
I JUST HAPPEN TO NAME;

"THE LAMAZE CLASS"

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly,
and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher.

"Walking is especially beneficial.
And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time
to go walking with your partner!"

The room was very quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

"Yes?" asked the instructor.

"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN