AS WE GROW OLDER, WE FIND THAT LIFE TEACHES US LITTLE THINGS, WE'LL CALL........

"Life Lessons"

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Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
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There is always a lot to be thankful for,
if you take the time to look.
For example, I'm sitting here thinking
how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

* One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

* Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.

* The best way to keep kids at home
is to make a pleasant atmosphere
- and let the air out of their tires.

* Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

* Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

* Laughing helps; it's like jogging on the inside.

* Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber,
not the toy.

* If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.

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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.



THAT LAST ONE SOUNDS LIKE ME
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

"SOME THOUGHTS OF THE DAY" (filed under wisdom?)

"Wisdom"

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds the demand.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

It's easier to fight for ones' principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going anywhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.

I don't get even, I get older.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out of money experience.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

A day without sunshine is like night.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

Never stop laughing at your self or the world the old saying goes;
laugh and the world LAUGHS with you Weep and you'll WEEP alone

SO smile my friend smile!
your friend
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND

NOW HERE'S SOME THOUGHTS FOUND ON "BUMPER STICKERS" THAT SHOULD MAKE YOUR DAY

"Bumper Stickers"

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I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.
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Everyone has a right to be stupid; some just abuse the privilege.
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Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
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Does vacuuming count as aerobic exercise?
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Young at heart, slightly older in other places.
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Time is nature's way of making sure that
everything doesn't go wrong at once.
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The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
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I loathe people who keep dogs:
they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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There's no speed limit on the Information Superhighway.
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It is much, much easier to apologize than to ask permission.
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There are two rules for ultimate success in life.
Never tell everything you know, and...
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Do unto others, then run!
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Told you so
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

Let's look in on two young folks talking about their GRANDPA

"GRANDPA KNEW!"

Benny: "Now you take my grandpa, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too.
Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too."

Louie: "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?"

Benny: "A judge told him."

WOW! now that's a kick in the you know what!
your friend
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

Ok, so you gone fishing, and your wife is waiting for
some fresh fish from you but you caught none!
let's look in on JIM and see what he does

"A FISH STORY"

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake,
sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one.
On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket
and ordered four catfish.

He told the fish salesman,
"Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."

"But why?"

"Because your wife came in earlier today
and said that if you came by,
I should tell you to take orange roughy.
She prefers that for supper tonight."

Now I did not say JIM was smarter than his WIFE
your friend
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS