"GETTING OLD"

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded....

All reports are in.... life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older, than it is to get wiser.

The only time the world beats a path to your door, is when you're in the bathroom.

When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter ....
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

Sound like you? Welcome to the CLUB!
DON'T WORRY SOON ENOUGH YOUR KIDS WILL BE THERE TOO!
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

A HIGHWAY PATROLMAN AND
A WOMEN DRIVER".............

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the crowded freeway. Glancing at the car, the officer was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting.

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO," the woman yelled back. "IT'S A SCARF!"

YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was "woman's work!"

One evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and immediately wanted to know what was going on.

It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job.

The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office.

"How did it work out?" they asked.

"Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed my evening."

"But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know.

"It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too tired."

Looks like charley did all that work
and didn't get ANY LOVING
He found out how hard housework is!

Remember fellows if you want some loving,
then you got to help with the housework too.
Bring her flowers once in a while and take her out to dinner too.
Remember how hard it was to win her heart
Then remember to keep it fresh, give her love from your heart too.
Marriage is a partnership, no one can expect more than you put into it
For it to work show love, and "always say honey, I love you!"
Never go to bed mad at each other, but forgive each other.
kiss her when she goes to sleep and when you wake in the morning
following these simple rules will give you and your mate years
f happy times.
Remember that it takes two to make it work.
You may have bad times
you will have good
but most of all you
will have each other to love
and that is Gods real gift to you!

Wishing you all my best wishes,
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS
NOW MY FRIENDS WILL TELL YOU THE THREE WORDS TO SAY EVERY DAY:

"THE MIRROR ON THE WALL"

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Do you have to tell it all?

Where do you get the glaring right
To make my clothes look just too tight?

I think I'm fine but I can see
you won't co-operate with me;

The way you let the shadows play,
You'd think my hair was getting grey

What's that, you say? A double chin?
No, that's the way the light comes in;

If you persist in peering so,
You'll confiscate my facial glow,

And then if you're not hanging straight,
You'll tell me next I'm gaining weight;

I'm really quite upset with you,
For giving this distorted view;

I hate you being smug and wise...
O, look what's happened to my thighs!

I warn you now, O mirrored wall,
Since we're not on speaking terms at all,

If I look like this in my new jeans,
You'll find yourself in smithereens!!
.
.
.
.
Looks like someone is having a bad day.
Hope yours is better
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

"THE LOOKING GLASS OF LIFE"
We'll all face it someday!
Getting old and gray.
Things that once were firm.
Are now placed where they don't belong!
So dear friend as you read this
and your body does insist
you acke and you creek
but you seek the wisdom of being old.

Be thank full for the friends you've made
All the years the Lord has gave
For your friends and family too.
Will be happy for you

As I look on 62 soon enought
another birthday will soon pass
And I will say at last
another year has gone away
and still I'll live another day
to see my Children grow
and My grandchildren too
but they will sing
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

I will be 62 in September but I am wishing
all my children HAPPY BIRTHDAY THIS MONTH
for we had three daughters born in March.
and one in September.
I am also wishing everone that has a
birthday the best of wishes for a great one!

I am greatful that I am still around to see my children and grandchildren as they grow each day. from little ones to
married ones.

I was just in a poets kind of mood today.
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY EFFORT
HAVE A GREAT DAY!

MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS