HMMMMMMMM LET'S SEE, A STUDENT
A PRINCIPAL AND A "PHONE CALL"

The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school.

"Hello, this is Dunn Elementary," answers the principal.

"Hi. Jimmy won't be able to come to school all next week," replies the voice.

"Well, what seems to be the problem with him?"

"We are all going on a family vacation," says the voice,
"I hope it is all right."

"I guess that would be fine," says the principal.
"May I ask who is calling?"

"Sure. This is my father!"
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MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

THIS ONE HAD ME ROLLING
IN MY CHAIR STUDENTS READ THIS:

"THE THREE WISHES"

A grad student, a post-doc,
and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp.
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They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
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The genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman,who sunbathes topless."


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Poof! He's gone.
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"Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc.
"I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach
with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other."


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Poof! He's gone.
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"You're next," the genie says to the professor.
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The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."
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GARFIELD SAYS THIS GUY MUST BE RELATED TO SCROOGE OR THE GRINCHEE'
HE SURE WANTS HIS MONEYS WORTH OUTA THESE POOR GUYS
HAVE A GREAT DAY
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

A YES THE TIME OF YEAR THAT COLLEGES ARE
TAKING IN NEWBEES LET'S VISIT A LOCAL MEDICAL SCHOOL AND LISTEN IN:

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" WHY MUST WE LEARN THIS?"

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One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask,
"Why do we have to learn this pointless information"
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"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
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A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
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"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
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"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.

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Garfield says this guy sounds like the last
Vet HE VISITED.
HAVE A GREAT DAY
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN

He's teaching her arithmetic,
he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
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And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, Now that's subtraction."
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Then he kissed her,she kissed him without an explanation. And both together smiled and said,
"That's multiplication."
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Then Dad appeared upon the scene
and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
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be sure that daddy does not walk in on you or else you will be more than longggggggggg division!
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS

NOW STUDENTS AND OTHER FOLKS PAY ATTENTION TO THE FOLLOWING LISTS:

Useless Inventions:

1. Non stick Cellotape
2. Solar Powered Flash Light
3. A black highlighter pen
4. Glow in the dark sunglasses
5. Inflatable Anchor
6. Smooth Sandpaper
7. Waterproof sponge
8. Waterproof Teabags
9. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
10. Fireproof Matches
11. Fireproof Cigarettes
12. Battery powered Battery Charger
13. Seatbelts for Motorbikes
14. Hand powered Chainsaw
15. Inflatable Dartboard
16. Silent Alarm Clock
17. A Pedal powered wheelchair
18. Braille Drivers Manual
19. Double sided playing cards
20. Ejector seats for Helicopters
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uncle scrooge was complaining that he received the above
list in the SUGGESTION BOX!
He said he will not give money for these but might use
some any how like #17, 14, and 20 Might come in handy while transporting
Grinchie
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HAVE A GREAT REST OF THE DAY
YOUR FRIEND
MAN MOUNTAIN DEAN AND FRIENDS