OK THIS IS ONE FOR MY YOUNGER READERS AND THE YOUNG AT HEART

Cheatin' Johnny



In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, “Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.”

Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it.
“Well, said Mr. Johnson,
I was looking over your test
and the question was, ‘Who was our first president?’,
and the little girl that sits next to you,
Mary, put ‘George Washington,’
and so did you.”

“So, everyone knows that he was the first president.”

“Well, just wait a minute,” said Mr. Johnson.
“The next question was, ‘Who freed the slaves?’ Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you.”

“Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that,” said Johnny.

“Wait, wait,” said Mr. Johnson. The next question was, ‘Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?’

Mary put ‘I don't know,’

and you put, ‘Me neither'



DEAN:

HERE IS ANOTHER ONE FOR MY YOUNGER OR YOUNG AT HEART READERS:

Student Proverbs:
A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs.
She gave each child in her class the first half
of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

As you shall make your bed so shall you..........mess it up.
Better be safe than......................punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the ..............................bug is close.
It's always darkest before............daylight savings time.
You can lead a horse to water but.......................how?
Don't bite the hand that........................looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a...................................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new.........................math.
If you lie down with the dogs, you'll..stink in the morning.
The pen is mightier than the...........................pigs.
An idle mind is.......................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke, there's......................pollution.
Happy the bride who...................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is...................................not much.
Two's company, three's.......................the musketeers.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you,
cry and..........................you have to blow your nose.
Children should be seen and not.........spanked or grounded.
When the blind leadeth the blind.........get out of the way.


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BIG D

HERES ONE FOR THE YOUNGER READERS TO UNDERSTAND;
OR THE YOUNG AT HEART :

SCHOOL:

Kids' Perspective
Kids' Views on School

A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm wasting my time," she said to her mother.

"I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"

AND NOW FOR THAT LITTLE FELLOW:

On the way home from the first day of school,
the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today?"

The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".

Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted
and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"

The perplexed child looked at his father and
said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school
when you were a little boy?"
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BIG D

Problems driving
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself"I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?"


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DEAN

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said.
"What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said.
"I also drink a case of whiskey a week,
eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'

"Twenty-six," he said.

BIG D
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